10 Ways To Regain Control Of Your Life

by Larry Rivera on November 9, 2011 · 45 comments

An elderly man and a child perform tai chi tog...

Image via Wikipedia

Have you ever had that over whelming feeling that you are not in control of what is going on in your life? I know for many people this is an all to real problem.  As a kung fu man I am always in pursuit of conquering myself. I strive as a martial artist for total control over all my actions. When you can reach a high level of control your mind and body work together.

In order to achieve success in your business and in life you need to be in total control of YOU…

At first glance, it would seem that positive thinking and Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) have nothing to do with one another. But many of us with ADD develop negative thinking patterns because we become frustrated by our challenges and frequent feelings of being overwhelmed. This negative outlook then makes it even harder for us to manage those challenges and move forward.

Practicing positive thinking allows people with ADD to focus on our strengths and accomplishments, which increases happiness and motivation. This, in turn, allows us to spend more time making progress, and less time feeling down and stuck. The following tips provide practical suggestions that you can use to help you shift into more positive thinking patterns:

1. Take Good Care of Yourself
It’s much easier to be positive when you are eating well, exercising, and getting enough rest.

2. Remind Yourself of the Things You Are Grateful For
Stresses and challenges don’t seem quite as bad when you are constantly reminding yourself of the things that are right in life. Taking just 60 seconds a day to stop and appreciate the good things will make a huge difference.

3. Look for the Proof Instead of Making Assumptions
A fear of not being liked or accepted sometimes leads us to assume that we know what others are thinking, but our fears are usually not reality. If you have a fear that a friend or family member’s bad mood is due to something you did, or that your co-workers are secretly gossiping about you when you turn your back, speak up and ask them. Don’t waste time worrying that you did something wrong unless you have proof that there is something to worry about.

4. Refrain from Using Absolutes
Have you ever told a partner “You’re ALWAYS late!” or complained to a friend “You NEVER call me!”? Thinking and speaking in absolutes like ‘always’ and ‘never’ makes the situation seem worse than it is, and programs your brain into believing that certain people are incapable of delivering.

5. Detach From Negative Thoughts
Your thoughts can’t hold any power over you if you don’t judge them. If you notice yourself having a negative thought, detach from it, witness it, and don’t follow it.

6. Squash the “ANTs”
In his book “Change Your Brain, Change Your Life,” Dr. Daniel Amen talks about “ANTs” – Automatic Negative Thoughts. These are the bad thoughts that are usually reactionary, like “Those people are laughing, they must be talking about me,” or “The boss wants to see me? It must be bad!” When you notice these thoughts, realize that they are nothing more than ANTs and squash them!

7. Practice Lovin’, Touchin’ & Squeezin’ (Your Friends and Family)
You don’t have to be an expert to know the benefits of a good hug. Positive physical contact with friends, loved ones, and even pets, is an instant pick-me-up. One research study on this subject had a waitress touch some of her customers on the arm as she handed them their checks. She received higher tips from these customers than from the ones she didn’t touch!

8. Increase Your Social Activity
By increasing social activity, you decrease loneliness. Surround yourself with healthy, happy people, and their positive energy will affect you in a positive way!

9. Volunteer for an Organization, or Help another Person
Everyone feels good after helping. You can volunteer your time, your money, or your resources. The more positive energy you put out into the world, the more you will receive in return.

10. Use Pattern Interrupts to Combat Rumination
If you find yourself ruminating, a great way to stop it is to interrupt the pattern and force yourself to do something completely different. Rumination is like hyper-focus on something negative. It’s never productive, because it’s not rational or solution-oriented, it’s just excessive worry. Try changing your physical environment – go for a walk or sit outside. You could also call a friend, pick up a book, or turn on some music.

 

Do you have a hard time staying in control in your life? Sometimes all it takes to get your life in balance is just making one small change at a time.  The practice of Tai Chi has helped me stay motivated and focused. Also I believe a big part of being in control is staying fit. Even a little exercise a day can go a long way to a happy healthier life.

 

Personal Development

{ 45 comments… read them below or add one }

Sandy November 9, 2011 at 2:07 pm

Hey Larry,

first, thank you for this great Post. Its intersting for me and inspired me.
I agree with you, you have right.

Point 1 its sooooo true.
Love yourself and you become love from other people. And think positive.
Its not easy, thinking postive every day. But its a good Way for Life.

With best Wishes and Greetings from Germany .. Sandy :-)

Reply

Larry Rivera November 10, 2011 at 4:55 pm


Twitter:
Thanks Sandy!

Reply

zamahsari November 9, 2011 at 10:00 pm

Although it isn’t that easy to control myself, I’ll try. Sometime I feel that everything I have done doesn’t come with good return and even it is getting worse. It really makes me stuck and lead me to give up. Thanks for your tips above that are useful to wake up my spirit..
zamahsari recently posted..Nvidia Tegra 3: Everything We Should KnowMy Profile

Reply

Larry Rivera November 10, 2011 at 4:58 pm


Twitter:
Hi Zamahsari, your welcome.

Reply

Aaron November 10, 2011 at 1:12 am

Very inspiring post,

Today everyone is busy in making more and more money, they don’t have time to care about their body or their real passion.

I usually do morning jogging and always advice everyone to do it. Because if you have a healthy body then you have healthy mind and you’ll get positive thinkings which automatically helps you to overcome from negative thinkings.
Aaron recently posted..Goa HolidayMy Profile

Reply

Larry Rivera November 10, 2011 at 5:01 pm


Twitter:
Hi Aaron, jogging is good exercise. I know lots of people have a hard time jogging. Really taking any time out of your day to stretch,walk,jog is good for your body. Consistency is the key (Isn’t it always though :) )

Thanks for commenting..

Reply

Aanchal November 10, 2011 at 1:17 am

Pesonal development is need of every person, It helps your to make balance between your personal and professional life. It tells you how you can care about your health plus work for your business to grow it.

You’ve really mentioned some amazing tips and I certainly try to focus on them. Thanks for great sharing and inspirational article.
Aanchal recently posted..Web Design IndiaMy Profile

Reply

Larry Rivera November 10, 2011 at 5:03 pm


Twitter:
Hi Aanchal, thanks for commenting..

Ultimately I believe it is in everyone’s best interest to spend some time in some form of personal development.

Reply

Shower Heads November 10, 2011 at 2:36 am


Twitter:
Mindblowing points…all are true.

As many folks are facing the same problems in their life but the main reason which is not able to cope up with such problems are –they don’t realise it first.

Thanks a lot for sharing such a interesting and important point which can really change one’s life if it realise it and implement it.

Reply

Larry Rivera November 10, 2011 at 5:04 pm


Twitter:
Your absolutely right!

It’s hard to fix something you don’t know that is broken.. That is why in most cases it takes a person hitting rock bottom in life to really make any meaningful change..

Reply

Raj November 10, 2011 at 4:36 am

Helping people or volunteering for an organization helps us not only build good Karma, but it also enables us to learn a lot of new skills.
Raj recently posted..A Bloggers Guide to Choosing Your Domain NameMy Profile

Reply

Larry Rivera November 10, 2011 at 5:04 pm


Twitter:
Hi Raj, thanks for stopping by and commenting :)

Reply

kay November 10, 2011 at 8:39 am

At first glance, it would seem that positive thinking and Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) have nothing to do with one another.This negative outlook then makes it even harder for us to manage those challenges and move forward.
kay recently posted..fabric window awningsMy Profile

Reply

Jim Calaman November 11, 2011 at 4:42 pm

Hi,
Thanks for the info. I know I need to some of these ideas into use. I need to squash the ants and get rid of negative thoughts. Losing weight and getting in shape would help but it is hard to get started. Better organization and planning would probably help with all of these.
Thanks,
Jim
Jim Calaman recently posted..How To Find A Doctor- Things To ConsiderMy Profile

Reply

Larry Rivera November 13, 2011 at 10:59 am


Twitter:
Hi Jim, thanks for stopping by and sharing.. I recommend joining here for free and learning more about simple exercise program that can make a huge impact in your health.

I find that people are hesitant to work out because they think that it demands a lot of time and effort.. While it does take time and effort, people have been mislead to the reality of quality exercise..

Reply

Steve November 12, 2011 at 11:34 am


Twitter:
Larry,

Great post here. I specifically like #4. So many people are quick to jump on absolutes. I really hate this. Nothing is impossible and nothing is absolute. getting rid of absolutes and those ANTS, are great ways to really take charge of your life and make something of it. thanks for sharing.
Steve recently posted..Build My Rank Review – THE Best Way to Get Backlinks?My Profile

Reply

Larry Rivera November 13, 2011 at 11:00 am


Twitter:
Hi Steve, What you just said reminds me of one of the Tai Chi Classics…

“Where there is increase, you decrease. Where there is decrease you increase” :)

The nature of balance..

Thanks for sharing your thoughts..

Reply

Siddarth Rajsekar November 13, 2011 at 5:23 am

Great post my friend. I was watching this video where Tony Robbins, Frank Kern and John Reese come together. It’s on my blog FREE Section.

Anyways, Tony says the reason most folks lose control of their life and success is getting into the loop of POTENTIAL -> ACTION -> RESULTS -> BELIEF.

The best way to regain control over our life is to GET OUR MINDSET aligned to the things that we want.
Siddarth Rajsekar recently posted..How To Use Your Time Productively While Building Your MLM Home BusinessMy Profile

Reply

Larry Rivera November 13, 2011 at 11:03 am


Twitter:
I think your talking about this video right? :)

Reply

lanzones56 November 13, 2011 at 8:45 am

It’s hard to fix something you don’t know that is broken.. That is why in most cases it takes a person hitting rock bottom in life to really make any meaningful change..
lanzones56 recently posted..How To Train A DogMy Profile

Reply

Larry Rivera November 13, 2011 at 11:04 am


Twitter:
Hi lanzones, That’s very true!

Reply

tessa03 November 13, 2011 at 10:33 am

I am always in pursuit of conquering myself. I strive as a martial artist for total control over all my actions. When you can reach a high level of control your mind and body work together.
tessa03 recently posted..Vaginal Yeast InfectionMy Profile

Reply

Larry Rivera November 14, 2011 at 6:41 pm


Twitter:
Hi Tessa love your comment :)

Here is a question for you.. Take your finger any finger and wiggle it.. Tell me, what happens first do you have the thought of wiggling your finger or does your finger just wiggle?

Ultimately in order to gain the control you speak of , you first have to be willing to give up control only then is it possible to have control..

Reply

Laura Vennon November 13, 2011 at 7:42 pm

This is what I call a one million dollar post. You have an amazing way of putting the right words in the perfect order to form the perfect sentence to brighten my day. From everything that you said above, I think the one that I lack the most is social interaction. I barely go out of my house and end up socialising with my laptop and TV the most :( Thanks again for this excellent post, keep them coming as always.
Laura Vennon recently posted..Deducting Interest Expenses When You FileMy Profile

Reply

Larry Rivera November 14, 2011 at 6:48 pm


Twitter:
Hi Laura , I am not big into social interaction but I interact with lots of people. :)

Reply

motivational movies November 14, 2011 at 4:20 am

After reading the article, I am goin to follow this line “In order to achieve success in your business and in life you need to be in total control of YOU…”. Cause sometimes, I dont know what I am doing or might maybe being possessed. :D

Reply

Larry Rivera November 14, 2011 at 6:50 pm


Twitter:
Breath! I find in most situations you can gain control of your composure through breathing.

Reply

Ana from SEM Rush November 14, 2011 at 1:30 pm


Twitter:
This is an amazingly powerful post, Larry. Although I do some of the things, I picked up several helpful hints and I will definitely incorporate them. We can all benefit from having more control over our lives, right?

Gratitude is one thing which I have noticed makes the biggest difference in my life.

Thanks for sharing!
Ana recently posted..Best Affiliate Marketing Programs that PayMy Profile

Reply

Larry Rivera November 14, 2011 at 6:57 pm


Twitter:
Hi Ana, thanks for popping in!

Ya I am control freak, so the more control the better lols…

Be grateful, humble and kind <–Words to live by

Reply

Wade | Wellness November 14, 2011 at 2:07 pm

Great post Larry. This is great for all people whether they had ADHD or not. My daughter has ADHD and I will let her read this and then chunk it down for her.
Wade | Wellness recently posted..Overweight People Needed! – By WadeMy Profile

Reply

Larry Rivera December 20, 2011 at 8:51 pm


Twitter:
A little late I know but thank you for the comment all the same :)

Reply

Tim November 16, 2011 at 5:26 am


Twitter:
Larry these tips are fantastic. I have been feeling completely not in control of my life and these tips are exactly what I need. I especially love numbers two and 4. Be thankful for what you have and absolutes do make things worse.
Tim recently posted..Drum Beats in Odd Time SignaturesMy Profile

Reply

Larry Rivera December 20, 2011 at 8:51 pm


Twitter:
thanks for commenting :)

Reply

Joseph November 16, 2011 at 3:25 pm

This is a great reminder for us although that it’s really hard to control ourselves.I guess i should do this now and I always do feel grateful and thankful about my life.
excellent post Larry!keep it up!

Reply

Internet Marketing Firm November 17, 2011 at 6:00 am

Believe in yourself is very vital to be succeeded in any objective, just believe in yourself and remind yourself everyday that you can do it.Do your best and leave the rest on fate.

Reply

Albert from social networking websites November 19, 2011 at 7:45 am


Twitter:
Thank you Larry for this inspirational post.
The points 1,2 and 6 are those on which I have to work harder!

Reply

Larry Rivera December 20, 2011 at 8:52 pm


Twitter:
Your welcome

Reply

Rob Benwell November 19, 2011 at 11:31 pm

While I was reading your article – I felt that it was written especially for me. :) I needed this. Thank you very much. I am inspired.

Reply

Duy from Gaming Mouse November 22, 2011 at 10:31 pm

Hey Larry, very nice post :D

I agree that staying balanced and keep moving forward in life are not easy. In order to do so, we must control what is inside us first. Then we can go out and make other things better.

I used to fall into bad moods and negative thoughts before. But once I realized how bad they are to me and my business, I started to change my thinking patterns. Now I’m feeling better, and my business grows as well.

Thanks for sharing your experience Larry, I really like it!

Reply

ecuador crafts November 24, 2011 at 11:35 am

great blog…..I try hard to push myself foreward and strive as a martial artist for total control over all my actions. When you can reach a high level of control your mind and body work together.it`s a fantastic feeling, once you`ve found it,you cant go back

Reply

Motivational Community December 20, 2011 at 6:42 pm

Larry,

Thanks for the post! Being that I work within the personal development industry I am constantly surrounded with the latest ideas in how improve our personal self. But I have to say #10 is a first for me, I am actually going to try it myself. From the sound of it, it makes total sense. It goes with the idea on how two thoughts can’t exists at the same time.

Keep on keeping on brother!

All the best,

Luis Rosario
Director of Communications
MorningCoach.com

Reply

Larry Rivera December 20, 2011 at 8:52 pm


Twitter:
My Pleasure

Reply

Mel Melhado December 30, 2011 at 2:15 am

Regaining control of your life can help you achieve more that you had ever imagined. Having positive thoughts can help you gain control over your life. Your thoughts influence so many things including most of your actions and speech. Therefore, if you are always thinking negatively then it is most likely that only negative things will come your way.

Reply

Mike March 4, 2012 at 12:32 am


Twitter:
There are many things that can be considered as attention deficit disorder. Getting to the root of the problem should be the main focus instead of immediately choosing medication.
Mike recently posted..Nutrition and Attention Deficit DisorderMy Profile

Reply

Virginia Pool Builders April 20, 2012 at 6:40 am

If you are feeling any difficulty in your life and facing any trouble then your main focus is reach the root of the problem instead of immediately choosing medicines.

Reply

Leave a Comment

CommentLuv badge

[+] Zaazu Emoticons Zaazu.com
This blog uses premium CommentLuv which allows you to put your keywords with your name if you have had 5 approved comments. Use your real name and then @ your keywords (maximum of 3)